Belong Instead of Trying to Fit In (I AM GOOD ENOUGH Book Excerpt)

An excerpt from I AM GOOD ENOUGH: One Non-Guru's Path to Spiritual Awakening (No Trip to India Required)

For most of my life, I traded in my authenticity (meaning living my Authentic Self, whoever that was), for approval. I was hustling for worthiness.

To be fully present in the now, while the personal shame storm from my past was brewing, the winds howling around me, I had to surrender to what is. I had to find a way to make my past cease to exist in my body, mind and spirit so that it no longer had power over me.

My sense of self isn't my past. It's my present. My now. And that's what I had to find my way back to.

I needed to honor my struggles and somehow turn them into tools for spiritual advancement. But I didn't have a clue how to do that. The Universe, however, did know all of the how-to's and once again connected me with the right person at the right time by introducing me to the books and lectures of Dr. Wayne Dyer.

(***The much-beloved Dr. Dyer passed-on to his next grand adventure on August 30, 2015, as I was editing this book. I will forever be grateful to him and feel his wisdom, love, wit and warm spirit.)

I began my Wayne Dyer journey by reading his autobiography I Can See Clearly Now, and I've now read almost everything he's written. I Can See Clearly Now begins with this wonderful quote that Dr. Dyer loved:

"If we stop for a moment, it is possible to perceive a pattern in our lives; the motivators that have influenced us become more obvious. We are able to see life unfolding from both ends at once, coming into the present moment. But until we have got to a certain point of realization, this is not possible, because everything is still seen as a series of apparent causes and effects." --- Reshad Field

I was at that vital point of realization where I was beginning to see the patterns of my life.

I've always hustled for approval and acceptance. Looking back, I hustled in order to be part of the "in" crowd that at a heart and soul level I never was. I've never been the kind of "mean girl" that so many in that group were. But it hurt so bad to be on the receiving end of their BS that I felt safer being with them than against them.

I confused fitting in with belonging. When you belong, it's because you're being who you really are, you're not changing who you are to fit in. Love goes with belonging. Love doesn't go with fitting in. You can only belong to what is authentically you.

Hugs Love and Namaste --- DD